So often I try to create a good habit. And so often I fail. When it comes to Mass I didn’t even try, it just fell into place.
There was a point in December where things got a little too stressful and beyond my control. I found myself at the 08:15 mass in the Church behind me. I have over the years gone to Morning mass but it never stuck. This church is 130 steps from my building. It is very convenient! I found in those stressful days that mass was a comfort, a moment to myself before the chaos kicked in. I like the sense of space it gave my day.
In January I found myself going once or twice a week and then suddenly, with minimum effort by the half term I was going every day. I continue to go every day and I am in absolute wonder as to how this has happened. Going to mass daily certainly hasn’t made me more religious or saint like. Ironically, if anything, it has just highlighted how much of my time in mass is usually spent thinking about other stuff… my to do list, meals, what to wear, exercise etc. But in becoming more aware of my train of thought it brings me back to the moment, and back to mass, for a few minutes at least. It feels, to some extent like a practice in mindfulness or meditation. Sometimes my mind runs all over the place and other times it hushes a little enough to engage in prayer and thought. As the weeks pass I find more moments of quiet at mass and interestingly enough throughout my day. It feels like my days have more space and time moves more slowly when they start with Mass and that is what I need.
On top of that I found that dropping piano means I can no longer be constantly disappointed with myself for my lack of practice. And I’ve added Yin yoga to my exercise routine that encourages stretching and despite the initial discomfort leaves me in a zen like state at the end of the lesson. So far everything in March feels calmer and quieter and peaceful and I am lapping it up. I hope it isn’t the quiet before the storm! Next month I turn 50!!!
