There are people who come into your lives and don’t just leave footprints but settle down and set up camp in your heart. That is the only way I can describe Lee. 

I was broken on Saturday after learning she was no longer with us. And yet she was and still is because in Tourrettes she is everywhere…

The plastic green goblets were inspired by her “no glass by the pool” rule.

The bamboo dinner set that she loved and that we used during those ridiculously long lunches are a constant reminder of times shared.

The end bedroom is hers.

The view from her bed was her “happy place” that she would revisit in her head when times were tough.

The cards we play with have a picture of her and the girls from our last visit.

The shopping list pad on our fridge is a gift from her too.

The mini pizzas in the freezer were  discovered because of her dislike of tomato sauce.

And then looking back over two decades of friendship there are just so many memories that stand out…

The surreal ride in a yellow van when my grandfather died.

Buying fancy sausages to take to my then boyfriend (now Husband) in Monaco.

Being the only place I could think to go to when I arrived on a plane the day of the 7/7 bombings and London was in turmoil.

Our first meal out with a wheelchair during her “boot camp” hospital stay. 

Introducing me to the Burberry warehouse in Hackney.

The amount we could talk (from breakfast to lunch) and yet be totally comfortable with silence too.

Relais des Coches lunches - lamb kebabs and Prosecco.

The only person I know who drank Pepsi (with Vodka) 

Watching the girls while I did my marathon training in Tourrettes.

Hours spent colouring, playing and talking to the girls and becoming just as much their friend as mine.

The storm show the girls put on because “Lee LOVES storms mama!”

How we drank champagne and ate steak three weeks after Amaia was born, 

The articles she would send in the post from ES magazine to remind me of London,

The little Italian that we always headed to whenever I visited. 

There are just too many to mention….

Lee was always so full of energy, enthusiasm and positivity. She had come back from the brink of death once before. She had astounded doctors with her recovery and readily taken on the challenge of proving them wrong time and time again. She was a fighter. Even when her health was a struggle she would just remind me that she could be dead already. Everyday was a gift, an opportunity to learn, to laugh, to enjoy, to connect with others. She never stopped living life to the full, taking classes, booking activities, going on excursions even if she would have to sleep all the next day from exhaustion. She never complained. Not even when she had plenty to complain about! As I cried more tears on Saturday (and re read that whole weeks Richard Rohr contemplations on Grieving) I came to the realisation Lee wasn’t afraid of dying, she had already stared it in the face, she was afraid of not living. And now that she had taken every opportunity, squeezed out of life all that she could she was ready for the next adventure. I miss her terribly but I understand now.