The Stranger

I do not recognise myself at the moment. Who is this person? I certainly haven't met her before!

On Wednesday I took the 06:47 train to the airport, the 08.55 train to Barcelona and finally the 12:45 train to Girona. I met up with a group of strangers for a running holiday in Costa Brava.

With all the excitement of Amaia's evening I didn't have time to think about the trip. I packed 3 days running kit, jeans and a top for each night. I have never been more efficient or practical in my life!

I didn't worry about my clothes, my conversation or the impression I would make. I didn't worry about my ability or fitness. There were no nerves! I wanted to do something new, challenging, different and totally out of my comfort zone. I found it. I love it. Don’t get me wrong, it has been hard at times, I've been pushed but not forced, encouraged but tested. Turns out I am a pretty good runner, very strong on inclines, cautious on descents, I have stamina too. No injuries (people were surprised) and good on different terrains. I would never have said any of those things about myself  before. It is funny the stories we tell ourselves and believe. I think mine may need adapting! 

I also didn't expect to be so comfortable around strangers. I'm enjoying their company with ease, as if this is something I do all the time! 

Today is our last full day of activity. My body aches but in a good way. I am full of ideas of how I can change my running routes, add some trails, embrace inclines, use steps and even throw in a swim! It's taken a while but this stranger that turned up and threw her self into the unknown with such determination, confidence and strength wants to settle in and stick around. I say "Welcome. Make yourself at home."

Last night...

 I feel like I have been quiet lately. Partly because life has been busy but uneventful! There hasn't been much to write about other than my despair about how some people dress!! A bra top is still a bra. Not a top. Also, gym wear is unsuitable at a proper restaurant. And finally, is it ever the right time to wear a white, tight, strapless dress that barely covers your backside? It certainly isn't at 10am when I'm enjoying a morning coffee!! So... I have been feeling a bit negative and overly judgemental so thought I would keep silent. 

But yesterday... yesterday was a moment to be remembered. We attended the gala evening of the Prince Pierre Foundation where prizes were given to celebrate new music, literature and philosophy. Yes, I had a crises about what to wear! But the evening wasn't about me. It was about Amaia. She had been on the jury for best new debut novel and was going to read an extract to a packed exquisitely, beautiful Salle Garnier with the Monaco royal family in attendance. I was terrified! I needn't have been. She sailed through it like a professional. Reading clearly, slowly and expressively. She was totally undaunted by her audience. I was amazed. This is my 16 year old daughter?!? Wow. Just WOW! She belonged on that stage. Standing by the lecturn she was confident and in control, I caught a glimpse of her future self and was left in complete awe.

And I haven't even mentioned that she looked Amazing! Elegant dress, slicked back hair, barely there makeup and a beautiful, light up any room smile!

Amaia, you are a star!

Autumn vibes

 I’m home with a snotty, sneezy, yucky cold. What happened?!

I left Monaco on Friday in full on Summer mode and came back to Autumnal coolness. My linen clothes that I washed last week will not be ironed. They will be put away until Summer 2027. I’m sleeping under a duvet for the first time in months. No mosquitos. Coffee is drunk hot again. Jeans are an option. I no longer sport a sweaty shine all day long. And it just feels like the season has very much changed. In a week. I don’t mind. I’m ready for a little chill and rediscovering my warmer wardrobe. Bring on the jackets and coats! 

Travelling Light, Returning Loaded

 

I travel light. Handluggage if I can get away with it. I pack an amazing capsule wardrobe! This handbag will see me through the weekend. It has several white tops, navy cashmere jumper, a navy top, pj's, underwear, writing paper, toiletries and makeup, 2 small books and a kindle, a folded Longchamp bag for my return and charging cables.  

I am off to London to stay with an old friend from my uni days. You know, the type of friend you just pick up where you left off and always have something to talk about. She knew me before I became a wife, mother, middle aged housewife! 😃  We have booked ourselves a treat day at Daylesford spa in the Cotswolds. It is super relaxing, restful and restorative. Plus interesting people watching.  I can't wait!

I've done some online shopping and I'm ready to pick up packages along the way and browse around the shops plus get my eyebrows done (it's been six months!). I'm particularly excited about this little number... 

So I will be back on Sunday night with my new purchases and laden with M&S chocolate roll tubs, a mountain of Cadburys chocolate and maybe another treat or two.

Digital Detox

 Leia left for a school trip today. She has started Lycee and this is supposed to be a “bonding” with your year group. They haven’t gone far but they are in the countryside. On Monday I attended a meeting and was pleasantly surprise to hear phones are banned. This is a digital detox for 14-15 year olds and I truly hope they can enforce it. What’s more I saw their schedule and it was great! I’d pay for a holiday like that! It includes workshops on nutrition, sleep, exercise, self confidence, a day of hiking in the mountains to a waterfall, stretching and relaxation twice a day, morning warm ups before breakfast, calm time and they’ve even managed to fit in a mass. Seriously?! Apart from the dorms and shared bathrooms, that is my kind of holiday! I’m looking forward to hearing how it goes and what she learnt. And how it felt without the constant distraction of music, photos and videos. I wonder how other kids will survive being cut off from their social media and their online life that seems more important than reality. I wonder how some parents will survive without the constant messaging too. Will there be withdrawal symptoms? Cold turkey in the mountains? Yes, it is going to be an interesting return…

Rebellion

 The last week I have been on an amazing streak with my Oura ring,  optimal scores in sleep, readiness and activity with my resilience rocketing to “exceptional” which is very rare. But today I have found myself alone at home for a good ten hours. I took my ring off to charge and then decided to keep it off. No, I wasn’t going to do the 13500 steps, no I wasn’t going to exercise, no I wasn’t going to watch my inactivity. I was just going to do whatever I wanted to do without any stats. I have not left the house(yet). I have cleaned, ironed, tidied, washed, watched TV, listened to a podcast, prayed, eaten, prepared dinner, put away clothes, pottered about and now I am going to indulge in some afternoon reading. What a rebel! 

Hopeful

The first week back is almost over. The girls are happy and settled at school. I however  started the week with endless complaints. 

It was hot. 

It was humid. 

It was so crowded. 

Seriously, the Summer is over. People go home! But Monaco always feels slightly cramped and crazy, I was the one that needed a change of perspective. 

And here it is. Leia's first kick boxing class of the year. The temperature has dropped. I am not sweating. There are refreshing little rain drops falling every now and then. We walk and talk about the new teachers, which ones are cool, funny or strict. I leave Leia at the stade and go off towards Fontvielle port. A huge rainbow greets me and I am just filled with hope, optimism and excitement for the year ahead. 

I'm looking out at this view as I write and thinking " actually, Monaco is not so bad...".

Papa

Today my dad’s ashes will be left in their final resting place. Ten months to the day he left us. 

I don’t remember writing the piece below but I must have put some words down for his funeral. I would never have been able to read them aloud. I probably never will but here it is for you Papa….

No se como se dice unas palabras de mi padre cuando hay tanto que se pudiera contar. Estos últimos días hemos llorado y reído con las memorias, anécdotas, bromas y broncas que hemos pasado juntos como familia. Unas palabras no bastan. Pero os veo todos presentes y se que vosotros también tenéis vuestros recuerdos y sabéis cómo era mi padre 

El era un hombre de pocas palabras pero lo decía todo con pequeños detalles y atenciones. Y mi padre nos demostró y pasó a mi hermana y a mi que cuando las palabras no llegaban había el lenguaje de las lágrimas. Cuando se encontraba rodeado de amor, alegría, cariño, inocencia y más amor, cuando veía los resultados de todo su trabajo, sacrificio, amor y servicio venían las lágrimas. Caían frequentemente y nos decían todo lo que las palabras no podían.  Y las lágrimas que caen de mi parte y de mi familia ahora dicen lo mismo. Son lágrimas de alegría, de amor, de agradecimiento .

Lágrimas que dicen gracias papá, por el marido, padre, iaio, tío, amigo, que has sido, gracias por enseñarnos  a disfrutar de lo sencillo y , gracias por acompañarnos en los buenos tiempos y en los malos, por los 18 años que luchasteis para estar con nosotros, sin quejarte del dolor, gracias por el ejemplo, gracias por todo.

You are loved Papa. 

You are missed every single day.

Yes, I am crying.

Our last photo together... 

Bliss

 I'm not on social media nor am I obsessed with taking photos instead I will capture this idyllic moment...

After a final dip in the pool, I am drying off on a lounger. The sun has lost it's aggressive heat and now is gently warming me. In the distance I can hear the beats of a birthday party that has played an excellent playlist all afternoon. Thank you DJ! It is almost 7pm and it has been a gentle, easy day, Mass, reading, lunch, reading, napping, reading and pooltime reading. Tomorrow we return to MC but right now I have hit this mellow, glowing sweet spot of perfection.

Summer draws to an end and it has been an absolute pleasure. 

What?

 Times have certainly changed when the waiter now asks the girls if they will be having wine!! When did that happen?!?! 😯

I’m back!

 Second post in one day! 

I know it has been a long time (6/4/2025) since I last wrote and a lot has happened and I am sure I will cover it all with time. Some things are easy to write about and others will be emotionally draining and very difficult but, in time, all will be covered. At the moment I just want to say is I’m 51 and feel pretty much the same. Still running but no more marathons, thrown some yoga into the mix and HIIT workouts and maybe weights as I’m getting older. Super proud of myself this Summer as since I got back from Valencia my Oura ring is regularly giving me optimal readiness and sleep, my resilience is high and my fitness too. Unlike my younger self I don’t need drinks and nibbles every night, sleep is very important and 5 mornings a week I do a quick 4km run just to get some steps in. That will increase once I’m back in MC and the weather is cooler. So overall I’m very chuffed with this Summer’s efforts plus I’ve had fun, rested, relaxed, read, written and generally feel refreshed! Yay to getting older and wiser!

Annecy

 So, last week as I was chilling in Tourrettes I started reading some old blog posts and well, it’s been 19 years of occasional write ups. I was 32 when I started with “9 hours to kill” most days. It was a shocking (but fun) read and I thought I should definitely write more. It’s a convenient way to remember how life is and was… This 51 year old dreams of having a couple of hours to kill!

So here I am in Annecy. Husband has wanted us to visit for years and we finally made it. What can I say? Firstly, that my view as I sit and type is beyond stunning. The lake is peaceful and crystal clear, the mountains surrounding it, majestic, demanding respect and awe, the calm waters are dotted with pedalos, padel boards, schools of sailing boats and an occasional swimmer. Despite the huge amount of activity in and around the lake it doesn’t feel busy, there is enough for everyone. The lake is surrounded by huge century old plane trees that provide shade and shelter along the walk way of Avenue d’Albigny. Our apartment sits above the tree canopy and we have the view of all views. I could sit here all day watching the hours pass on this masterpiece nature has provided. It is magnificent. 

I have been to beautiful lakes before but this time it is different. This is France not Italy and what I notice is how everyone is getting the most out of their surroundings. Everyone has been provided for. Along the lake there is plenty of surprisingly green lawns for people to sit around, sun bathe, pic nic, the “beaches” are free, there are plenty of seats, benches, even loungers for people to rest, watch the world go by, there is a very popular cycle path and plenty of walkway. There doesn’t appear to be anywhere exclusive. There are no fancy speed boats, yachts or boat taxis. It all feels very calm and rather wonderful. I truly wasn’t expecting anything like this but this place has a touch of the magical about it and I know we will be back.

50 today!

I'm 50 today. It feels great. I feel great. I love being 50! 

Seriously, if some one has said describe your perfect day this really would have been it. I normally try and keep things low key, I don't like to boast or show off but today, it is different. Today I'm writing to mark this milestone of a birthday, to remember how happy I am, how lucky I feel, how much love I have received.  Today needs to be remembered as just one of those perfect days... Thank you God, thank you Universe, thank you all the stars that aligned to make today my day. 

I awoke to cards and gorgeous gifts, love and thoughtfulness. My one request had been to  wake up in a hotel on my birthday... we did. Le Mas Candille in Mougins. Glorious! A sumptuous breakfast was enjoyed where I indulged in too much sugar! Husband and I walked to the village and the church bells began to ring. I was just in time for Mass! A moment of calm, quiet, gratitude and prayer for all the things I have been blessed with. 

We checked out of the hotel despite the gorgeous pool and beautiful surroundings. Posing poolside is not my thing plus I wanted to get home for cake and bubbles! Instead of the showers predicted we have had warm sunshine, birdsong and gentle breezes, blooms and blossoms. Every sense is heightened and I feel cocooned in perfection. Champagne and cake, then the hammock and latest Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie novel. Utter bliss. Paradise exists. Dreams come true...

I am so lucky, so blessed, so happy. There are more hours to enjoy on this birthday but for now I hope I have captured some of its delicious exquisiteness and I leave you as Husband has joined me bringing chilled champagne and chocolates.

Cheers. To being 50! X

Mass, me and March thus far

So often I try to create a good habit. And so often I fail. When it comes to Mass I didn’t even try, it just fell into place.

There was a point in December where things got a little too stressful and beyond my control. I found myself at the 08:15 mass in the Church behind me. I have over the years gone to Morning mass but it never stuck. This church is 130 steps from my building. It is very convenient!  I found in those stressful days that mass was a comfort, a moment to myself before the chaos kicked in. I like the sense of space it gave my day.

In January I found myself going once or twice a week and then suddenly, with minimum effort by the half term I was going every day. I continue to go every day and I am in absolute wonder as to how this has happened. Going to mass daily certainly hasn’t made me more religious or saint like. Ironically, if anything, it has just highlighted how much of my time in mass is usually spent thinking about other stuff… my to do list, meals, what to wear, exercise etc. But in becoming more aware of my train of thought it brings me back to the moment, and back to mass, for a few minutes at least. It feels, to some extent like a practice in mindfulness or meditation. Sometimes my mind runs all over the place and other times it hushes a little enough to engage in prayer and thought. As the weeks pass I find more moments of quiet at mass and interestingly enough throughout my day. It feels like my days have more space and time moves more slowly when they start with Mass and that is what I need. 

On top of that I found that dropping piano means I can no longer be constantly disappointed with myself for my lack of practice. And I’ve added Yin yoga to my exercise routine that encourages stretching and despite the initial discomfort leaves me in a zen like state at the end of the lesson. So far everything in March feels calmer and quieter and peaceful and I am lapping it up. I hope it isn’t the quiet before the storm! Next month I turn 50!!!

February

 I cannot believe the pace this year is going at. How are we at the end of the month already? I think the first week was spent in shock that it was February already. And then we broke up for a two week half term although we’d only been back at school for a month! 

February was always a month that was a bit “meh”. But once I met Husband big things happened in February. Our first date, our first kiss, our engagement, I passed my driving test and finally the birth of Amaia. For me, the month also marks the passing of time. It marked our 23 years together and also 15 years of being a mama to Amaia…

Wrapping up 2024

 One of my aims this year was to start writing this blog again… I feel if I manage a post before January ends then the writing will continue throughout 2025. Right? 

But before we kick off with 2025 I really should wrap up all the 8 months of 2024 that I neglected. Hmmm. How much time do we have? 

April. I can’t remember my birthday but I’m sure it was lovely! (Actually remembered I had a stinking cold and spent the whole afternoon at a Kickboxing competition for Leia that was very delayed starting because the Monaco royal family were in attendance!)

May, I do remember a trip to the Poquerolles for Grand Prix holiday and Leia’s birthday and absolutely LOVING it. It was bliss. 

June was Leia’s confirmation and my parents came to stay for the week. We knew the drill this time so it was a lot less hectic. This time my father and I had front row seats in the Cathedral due to his wheelchair. 

July was Spain and another family celebration of Leia’s confirmation. The whole family stayed in La Mozaira, for a lunch which turned into dinner. The rest of the family left the next day but Husband and I had an extra night of peace and quiet at the hotel. More bliss.

August was spent at the house with an escapade to the beautiful St Remy in Provence. 

September back to school. I had a long weekend with Jacob in London - a great holiday all round,

October half term in Spain.

November was quiet and December was crazy.

There will be more details on some of the above but for now I will say good night and welcome back blog! 

The last few weeks…

 Easter week started well enough but by Thursday it had well and truly deteriorated and I was in a foul mood. I just felt pulled and pushed in all directions, feeling bad mentally, tired physically and yeah, just over it ALL! The worst part is my exhaustion is self imposed, so I get to feel guilty about that too! 

On Friday morning I decided I was NOT going to put on my running kit, I was going to go out shopping, have a coffee, read my book and then browse on line until lunch time. A whole morning to myself doing whatever it was I fancied! My mood started to pick up… I still did my run that afternoon and we left early for the house too (the girls still had school despite it being Good Friday). Easter weekend was wet, grey and miserable which made it easy to slow down and do very little.  The long weekend was restful. We enjoyed lie ins, lazy breakfasts, lots of reading and good food. Slowly I began to unwind, ache less, smile more and generally relax! 

The following week was the one that led up to my birthday. Throughout the week my packages kept arriving. Yay! I also caught a cold starting with a sore throat and being so congested I couldn’t sleep. On Thursday night I woke up at 2.30am and basically never went back to sleep and yet on Friday morning I put on my new ASICS and ran 19km in two hours. I was on such a high after that. It was amazing! Back home, I stretches and did the fastest turnaround ever so I could be at Giacomo’s for lunch. It did not disappoint - truffle pasta and tiramisu. Delicious! 

With my cold my birthday was pretty tame plus Leia had a kick boxing competition and confirmation mass so that mostly shaped my day. I did enjoy being spoilt with my presents, lots of books, toiletries, chocolates, smelly candle, a new handbag ideal for travelling because it is HUGE, J Crew order of 2 candy striped shirts, a red bikini, navy shirts and a sequinned tee and some lovely earrings too. Dinner at Cinq that was as delicious as ever finished my day.

This week as been crazy too. Leia caught my cold and was off on Monday, she left for a confirmation retreat on Wednesday. Then Amaia was off with a cold (it got her worse than all of us!) for Thursday and Friday. I managed to do three runs and yesterday’s one of 22.5km was painfully slow. Thankfully there was some good stuff too, soup kitchen, breakfast with a friends and an unexpected glass of wine with a friend in the sunshine so I won’t complain too much.

The tourists and the sunshine have both arrived and Monaco is heaving. The Monte Carlo Masters is in full swing and there are far too many people on my running route ambling along and driving me crazy. The weekend promises more sunshine and we haven’t much planned other than the girls’ LAMDA exams on Sunday. Wish them luck!

Lent success and birthday weakness

 I didn’t give up sugar for Lent in the end. The two weeks of holiday put an end to that plus the marathon training meant the extra calories were needed. What I did give up was online shopping. I didn’t think I’d last but I did. My daily morning fix of Vente Privée and Westwing has finally been broken! I still check in at some point in the day but knowing I can’t buy anything really dampens the appeal. Until this week… Next week is my birthday and I seem to have some irrational fear of not having any presents to open whilst not actually wanting anything in particular. I did buy some books on Amazon and some toiletries on Lookfantastic and then I had a bit of a spree in JCrew… whoops. Three online hits in two days! But it is done now, I am safe knowing I will have some lovely books to browse, some pampering treats and if I’m lucky a new top or two in time for my birthday. 

Now the rain has stopped I’m off to do 10km while girls have LAMDA. 

Simplicity

I’ve noticed with my marathon training that my days are predictable and surprisingly simple. Every week (Monday to Friday) I do four runs,  two short, one medium and one long. I have one rest day which I don’t rush to fill with activities. I do soup kitchen and my piano lesson on Thursdays, yoga on Wednesdays, Friday afternoon is put aside for Nancy and I to catch up on Skype and socially I do one coffee a week and one lunch a week. But since I started my marathon training I’ve also noticed I make more time for daily prayer, reading, PEAK training, piano practice, tidying and even this blog! I’m not complaining, I love this lack of choice, lack of decision making and knowing what every day holds for me. It makes life surprisingly easy when you strip away all the unnecessary noise and keep the bits you want and enjoy, yes even piano is different when you practice daily! It isn’t even mid day on a Wednesday and I’m already posting… see what I mean? 

Running update

On Friday I ran a very slow but manageable 15.5km (almost 10 miles). I then walked a couple of kilometres home, did some stretches and ate lunch. Throughout the afternoon I kept waiting for my body to ache, seize up, feel exhausted but it never did. I felt absolutely fine. Today I ran 17.3km and again, my body feels fine. I’m not exhausted (just hungry!) and have gone about my day as normal. I’m not pretending the training isn’t hard because it is but I am quite happy with how my body is adapting. Now I just need to go a little bit faster!

Tough Day

 Yesterday was sooooo hard.

I ran a slow and challenging 13km. I really didn’t enjoy it and whilst I tried to stay in the moment the internal dialogue did not stop! I had to keep reminding myself that marathon training IS a challenge. Yes, I have run several marathons so I know I CAN do it but my body changes with each year that passes. My 2024 body (nearly 49 years old body) is struggling, just back from holidays and indulging and my running routine hasn’t kicked in yet. So it was hard. After the run I still had a good 2km walk home and literally changed my shoes and top and did another walk (up to the rock) to meet Amaia for lunch. Then I walked home. By then I’d clocked up about 23km of running and walking and I was soooooo exhausted. Luckily my weekly chat to Nancy kept me sitting and still for a good 90 minutes! 

The rest of the day I just wanted to take it easy, my body was in shock, it was sore and did I mention how tired I was. I’m looking forward to getting into some routine but ouch, it hurts in the meantime.

Contentment feels like this….

I am writing this at my desk, the desk that is normally a dumping ground for everything but this afternoon I tidied my room, my drawers and my desk. Husband is out tonight and I am enjoying this space. Hey, I may even keep it tidy enough to do this again.

Today has been a good day and I can’t quite put my finger on why. It has been a satisfying, lovely, content, warm, fuzzy feeling inside kind of a day and yet strangely nothing out of the ordinary has happened. 

Well, actually something unusual did happen this morning. At the soup kitchen I was tasked with packing the sandwiches in their crates and bag. This is normally Mabel’s job, she is “the Boss” and has a very certain way of doing things. She is a formidable 87 year old who you don’t want to mess with. The last year or so I have found myself by her side wrapping sandwiches for her to pack and we work well together. Over the holidays I received an email telling me I was to take over her role while she was on holiday this week. I was slightly terrified! But today, despite being very low on volunteers, it all went well and without a hitch. Phew! 

After soup kitchen I had my usual coffee and catch up with Alison and then headed home for a bit of piano practice. My piano playing is deteriorating as I am finding it so hard. My progress is slower than ever! After a two week holiday I actually felt sorry for my teacher having to listen to me kill the tune over and over again. But I did it and hadn’t forgotten it all so that was also a relief.

The rest of the afternoon was calm, productive but in a gentle way. I didn’t feel harassed or tired or bored. As I ironed I listened to “The Power of Now” then actually tried to enjoy the time ironing, the same with the tidying, calmly, in the moment and strangely enough this just seem to add more time to my day! Eventually I read my book, listened to a podcast, prepared dinner, did some laundry, wrote my diary, did some habit planning and now am writing this post and still the day isn’t over! 

I’m sorry this isn’t an exciting post but really I feel so zen and calm right now I don’t want to break that spell!

A weary but happy traveller

 We have just had a two week half term. It was a bit hectic with lots of travel plans but I am relieved to say it all went wonderfully well! 

First stop was St Anton, our usual haunt, same hotel, same restaurants but a bigger group of friends. What isn’t apparent is the amount of effort required getting all our ski stuff in order. Our hall way is overflowing with kit and bags are bursting with all the layers of clothing required. Unfortunately we don’t have a chalet to leave our kit in during the year!! 

St Anton was great. We have been going to the same hotel all these years and it is always lovely to return. Plus the girls are older now so I really wasn’t needed when it came to ski school, drop offs or pick up. It meant we enjoyed long lunches and relaxing mornings (at least for the non skiers!). This holiday couldn’t have been easier. The girls were immediately placed in the correct ski class and they stayed with the same instructor all week. They were relaxed and enjoyed the skiing as well as all the socialising after. 

We got back to Monaco on Saturday night and Sunday afternoon the girls and I were off to Valencia. We were getting the late flight but that was fine. All flights arrived on time and we were at my parents’ house shortly before midnight. The next two days were spent relaxing with my parents and aunt and not trying to fit a million things in. It was lovely! My mum made amazing food and I managed to start running again. 

We headed to London on Wednesday morning. We were sight seeing around London in the afternoon, eating in Wagamama’s early evening and watching the Lion King that night. Thursday was more walking and sights Borough Market, London Bridge, Trafalgar Square, Piccadilly, Oxford Street, Marylebone and Covent Garden. We ate amazing meals in little tucked away cafes and restaurants that we’d researched on line, discovered corners of London I had never paid much attention to and then a final dinner at the hotel. Too exhausted to do much else. Friday lunchtime we left for Monaco and home by 5pm in time for the weekend!

Needless to say the weekend was quiet! We slept a lot and thankfully the awful weather allowed us not to feel guilty about it. I ran a bit too and did my first over 10 km without any drama (other than wet trainers).

I’m still washing and ironing all the holiday stuff while also trying to get on top of the two weeks dust and dirt. The first week back is alway a bit manic and crazy but I shall take it all in my stride!

Bit busy…

This week has been good. I was going to write busy, but when isn’t it busy? Exactly! Just to give you and idea of my week so far….

Monday, 5km run, house hold chores, piano, walked to Decathlon to get Amaia some ski kit, Leia comes home, pick up Amaia and accompany her to dentist, make dinner (leftovers - thankfully!), dinner, iron, get girls to bed, watch a little light TV and am very ready for bed by 10pm!

According to my Oura ring I’ve walked the equivalent of 18.7km. (7 hours of inactivity)

Tuesday, do my first 10km run since the Summer, the weather is gorgeous, as I walk home I get a call from a friend and meet her across Monaco, coffee and chat, head home and get ready for lunch, meet friend on other side of MC, head home, Leia comes home, pick up Amaia and take her ridiculously heavy bag home as she heads to Chiropractor. Leia and I head across Monaco (again) for kick boxing in the Stade. Walk home. Greet Amaia’s LAMDA teacher who is doing an extra lesson. Make dinner and do some chores in the evening as husband is out. Collapse in my bed around 10pm.

Oura ring says I’ve walked equivalent of 32.6km. (6 hours of inactivity)

Wednesday, I do my weekly la Turbie walk, come home and try desperately to relax. Make lunch for the girls as they are home at 12pm. Have Myo session on line with Amaia. Then girls have LAMDA. At least this is all at home. I do some shopping and head back. Get ready for yoga. No more walking as Alison picks me up and then an amazingly restorative hour of yin yoga. Back home, some chores, dinner for husband, iron, get girls to bed and watch an episode of The Sopranos before calling it a night. On my “relaxing day” I have walked the equivalent of 19km! (7 hours of inactivity)

Today is absolutely my REST DAY so no exercise. I have gone to soup kitchen, had a coffee with Alison, popped into Zara and walked home. I have dealt with laundry. Tried to pack our ski stuff. Had lunch with husband. Dealt with builders and agent for our London place. Checked into flights. Had an utter melt down as couldn’t find my passport. Made a mess looking for it but found it. Soon I will pick up Amaia and take her bag as she heads to chiropractor. Then Leia and I will head to kick boxing and home to make dinner. It is 4pm and I have managed 11km of walking and 2hrs and 45 minutes inactive.

So as I was saying. It had been lovely, meeting friends, coffee, lunches, sunshine, running, shopping and yoga. But yes, a bit busy!

Written at 8:52 pm: my rest day comes to an end. I have done the equivalent of 19.5km walking today and been inactive for 3hrs 45 minutes. Just saying….

2024 Musings so far…

Something has changed, maybe I’m just getting older and slowing down, maybe it is just a phase. I feel mellower (is that a word?), I also feel older physically  (kind of OK with that if it come with some kind of wisdom!) and time seems to be flying by. Really fast. March is around the corner and I am on my second post only?!

2023 was a tough year. I definitely feel like I have moved on to a different phase in my life where as I head for 50 there is no denying I am a fully fledged adult. My girls are big now, Amaia is 14 and Leia is nearly a teenager. My role as a mother is changing, my role as a daughter has changed. Life has different demands and yet strangely it also feels a lot calmer. Not because I am doing less, I feel as busy as ever, but because I try to focus on the things I can do, can improve on and (mostly) abandon the things (and people) that just don’t work for me. And that is OK. I have so much to be grateful for and there is so much I cannot change. And that is OK too. 

This year is shaping up nicely. I have signed up for the Midnight Sun Marathon on 22 June in Norway, running through the night in daylight. Amaia will do a 5km run then too. We are going to the beautiful Poquerolles again for simple family time and visiting Lake Como. Staying in a little (non luxurious) hotel right on the lake that husband and I stayed in back in 2007 and loved. We are going to St Anton soon and Valencia and making a flying trip to London for some culture! Leia makes her confirmation in June which will result in another visit from my parents. Yeah! So life is busy enough with lots of things to look forward to plus some new experiences too. Life is good. I’m not looking for drama or complications. Just happy being….

Back

 Yes, it has been a while. Seriously long. I know. But I promised myself I would start writing again in 2024. January flew by with me feeling under the weather for most of it but now it’s February and I am raring to go (kinda!).

But before we kick off 2024 let’s just sum up 2023.

May was my last post so here are the highlights of the remaining months:

JUNE: Amaia made her confirmation. My parents made it over and stayed with us in the new apartment. It was lovely especially as we were sure my parents would be able to make it. It was their first journey and only journey of the year but they made it and that is all that matters. On the day of the confirmation we celebrated and made up for all the other missed reunions! 

JULY: We headed to Valencia for the months. It was hot. It was hectic. But spending time with my nephews is the highlight of the holiday for me. We’d go to the pitch most mornings then buy snacks in Mercadona and scoff them before we’d even left the supermarket. Hanging out, talking rubbish, messing around with all the kids together. Pure gold.

AUGUST: The highlight was definitely Corsica. We stayed with friends and had an amazing time zipping from one idyllic beach to another on our boat. I certainly didn’t realise how beautiful the island is. Stunning and tasteful. 

SEPTEMBER: Back to school after nearly 12 weeks of school! Yes, we were all in shock for a while but school is good and the girls are doing great. 

OCTOBER: A quick visit to Valencia to see my parents, do some shopping and eat very well!

NOVEMBER: A cultural trip to Paris which despite the rather grey weather and one very wet Saturday was a huge success. We visited the Louvre, the Louis Vuitton foundation, climbed the Eiffel Tower, ate at the wonderful Procope Cafe, sampled macarons from just about every patisserie and generally enjoyed every minute. 

DECEMBER: We enjoyed a mild Christmas in Bristol and a cold New Year in Valencia. Came home exhausted and with a stinky cold that I just couldn’t shake off and so began 2024. 

 

Happy Birthday Papa

 I have been quiet lately about Valencia because a lot has been happening at home and it has taken me a while to process, accept and adapt. In fact I am still processing, struggling to accept and slowly, very slowly adapting. 

I still don't understand how or why but at the end of last year my dad lost his mobility. It all happened pretty quickly. I waved my parents off after they visited at the end of October and by the time I ran the marathon 6 weeks later he was barely walking 10 steps unaided. It was really hard for us and incredibly hard for him suddenly losing all his independence. 

There were new health issues and some operations and procedures. My mum has gone through hell even though she won't admit it and I am sure we don't know the half of what she has had to deal with. 

Because my parents can't travel we can't see them as often and that has been hard for all of us. I miss our breaks together in Tourrettes, Monaco and London. We all miss those easy days of just hanging out, wandering around shops, going to restaurants and generally having fun. 

I had planned to spend my dad's birthday in London with my parents but that sadly had to be cancelled. A few weeks ago  I started writing my dad's birthday card and I just couldn't finish it. It all seemed so utterly flat and underwhelming. How could a few cliched words even begin to say what I wanted? I couldn't see any other way to mark his birthday than by visiting him and giving him the much needed (for me at least!) birthday hug in person.

Last Saturday afternoon my dad's birthday surprise (me) arrived in Valencia. I think he was happy to see me! (You know he isn’t a man of many words!)

For his birthday the next day we had a car pick us up and take us to our chosen restaurant. Nothing fancy. It was lacking in ambience and probably understaffed but we had an amazing meal. Everything fell into place... our old favourite wine Belondrade and Lurton made an unexpected appearance. We had pre ordered a paella and another rice dish "arroz meloso". Everyone was relaxed. The food was good. The paella exceptional. The wine never fails to disappoint so we had a second bottle. Yes! My dad was enjoying himself and relaxing. He had wine, he ate well, his beloved Valencia football team won their match. What more could I ask for?! For me it was better than I had hoped for, not just the food and wine and win but the fact the four of us (Tia!) were out and celebrating and having fun and that was priceless. 

Happy birthday Papa! 

Happy birthday, happy Easter and happy holidays!!

This was all suppose to be posted before my amazing girls' weekend but that would have required organisation and technical skills of which I appear to be lacking!! So I bring you the month of April....

It all started with birthday celebrations. Low key by my standards but celebrations nonetheless. I had lunch with friends at Giacomo's, a relatively new restaurant on the newly done up Larvotto beach. I always order the same - Aperol Spritz (in a big fish bowl of a glass w tonnes of ice), creamy, indulgent truffle pasta that is always enough despite looking like a measly portion and to finish a generous serving of Tiramisu. It never disappoints!  (Not my idea to put a candle in my tiramisu).

 

Of course, that was just a birthday warm up meal because the next day (Good Friday) Husband and I swanned off to The Grill for an amazing lunch. I love The Grill. The food is good. The service impeccable and the people watching is always amusing. Plus they do an amazing souffle!! It always feels a little bit special to be in the Hotel de Paris. We finished the meal with a visit to the American Bar where we momentarily played at being very grown up and sophisticated while we sipped Champagne. The façade didn't last as we gobbled up all the bar snacks and asked for more - not very sophisticated at all! 

Next up was the Easter weekend which was an utter delight. The best surprise I've ever had - despite me being the one to book it all!

On Saturday morning we drove to Hyeres and from there to a 15 minute ferry to the Poquerolles islands. Initially I had booked it just to get away for the Easter weekend. The girls are tired of always doing Tourrettes-Valencia-Bristol holidays. So The Poquerolles it was. A no frills island with stunning scenery. I was anticipating a lot of down time and board games with wet weather but instead there was sunshine, breathtaking views and endless exploring by foot and bicycle of a beautiful, preserved and well cared for island. We only stayed two nights but it felt like a good, long, restful adventure. We will definitely be back!!

Idyllic Poquerolles

Old friends, great times

I’ve taken a few days to write up about this weekend because quite frankly I need to do it justice.  It was both medicinal and dare I say magical. It was the tonic I didn’t know I needed at the time I needed it most. I am still riding high on all the laughter, memories and endless conversation that took place over the long weekend where I slept so shockingly little. As someone who is very happy in her own company, this weekend proved I am even happier in the company of old, seen it all, never shocked, always supportive and brilliantly funny friends. Who knew… I certainly didn’t!  

The thing I remember most was the laughter. It never stopped. My jaw ached. Is this what we were like in our carefree days? I don’t remember laughing so much… Were we always this hilarious?! 

The first night we stayed up yapping and watching old episodes of Top of the Pops. Every song taking us down memory lane, strengthening and reinforcing the ties we already had. We laughed and joked and constantly put each other in our places. Only old friends can get away with that! We had heartfelt conversation too, over champagne this time because we are nearly 50! 

It was fun getting ready together, admiring outfits and wondering what shoes to wear. We had a mouth watering dinner at Coya, enjoying the club like ambience and watching the other diners like they were rare breeds. We couldn’t resist popping into Sass Cafe as we walked home. The place was heaving and we wanted a little dance. They marvelled at the clientele - old people dancing!! The hours passed and we headed home tired but buzzing from so much fun. Of course the night hadn’t ended. Back home came the debrief, the tea, the snacks and more conversation until eventually daylight came and we grudgingly dragged ourselves to bed. We just didn’t want the night to end.

They have seen it all from my DM wearing days with angry attitude to this Monaco housewife with a laundry obsession. All I felt was acceptance. They take everything in their stride. After thirty two years of friendship and over five without a reunion it was amazing how we just picked up where we left off. We were still the same girls who bonded with secret notes at school, confessional letters at Uni (mine at least!) and once in the working world sharing pitchers of attitude adjuster at Riki Tiks and drunken dinners in the newly opened Wagamamas. We laughed a lot then, we laugh a lot now.  

Thank you ladies for a wonderful weekend. For every moment of it. For reminding me who I was and who I still am! I look forward to our next reunion but until then I can keep smiling at all the crazy memories.

48

 So…. Tomorrow I turn 48. Yay! I’m not hugely bothered about this year’s birthday. I gave up online shopping for Lent (as well as sugar) which means I won’t have my usual pile of presents. Ok, I did in a moment of weakness buy some earrings and a jumper but that is all. But I’m not complaining I know I will have a nice day…

Birthday cake for breakfast - best way to start the day!

Morning at the soup kitchen. 

Hopefully some free time, maybe pop into a shop or two… then go home and decide what to wear.

Lunch at Giacomo’s on the beach with friends and I already know my order: Truffle pasta and Tiramisu with an Aperol Spritz. 

Then home and some free time before we start the usual kick boxing drop off and pick up. I’m still undecided about dinner but I am sure tomorrow I will figure out something!

On Friday I have a much needed hair appointment and then a lovely lunch with husband at Le Grill. And still no idea what to wear! 

But I will be 48 by then another year older, wiser and greyer, finding moments to enjoy and treasure and really knowing that what I wear is not very important! 

Oura Obsessed

A year ago I got an Oura ring for my birthday. It is a ring that monitors your activity, your heart rate, your exercise, body temperature, blood oxygen and your sleep. Every morning it tells me how “ready” I am for my day using the data from the previous 24 hours or so.

It has been great in some ways as I now realise that I actually move A LOT. I easily do 20,000 steps most days with or without a run. So that image of me being lazy is actually of my own making. Once I racked up 19,000 steps just cleaning the apartment! 

It also tells me I am an amazing sleeper. My sleep efficiency is excellent. When I am in bed I sleep. In fact  my only issue is that I fall asleep too quickly! Apparently it should take 15-20 minutes to fall asleep and I can usually do it in under five! This is considered a sign of over tiredness. 

Through my readiness and sleep scores I can see the things that are good for my body and not so good for my body. Annoyingly, a late meal (anything after 8pm) or a heavy meal will impact on my heart rate and body temperature. Alcohol in the evening is a guarantee that everything will deteriorate. Whilst I’m not quite ready to give up my weekend wine I am very aware of my eating hours now and hate eating late. 

On top of my usual walking and running I am also trying to do a weekly Pilates class and last week I started working out with a trainer. Wow! It hurts! I realised I haven’t used so many muscles in a very, very long time! After each session I find myself hobbling the next day with serious muscle aches. It is torturous - lifts, lunges, plank, twists, weights, burpees, sit ups and so on and so on. All I can hope is it is doing me some good!

Friday coffee stop

 I'm back at the park. Just done 9km and now having a coffee. It is warm and I am in running shorts and a vest and a ton of sun cream although tan marks are unavoidable! It has been a good week with lots of new/different experiences.

Friday night was St Patrick's day and we were invited to a get together by some Irish friends. Well, let's just say it turned into quite a party! It was fun and just so different to our usual Friday nights.

On Monday I got to enjoy a morning at the Metropole Spa. I had a back massage and a facial and it was heavenly although I wish it was still ESPA. 

Yesterday I went to the Soup Kitchen and then had a friend come over for a coffee and catch up. And I realised how different this is for me. I NEVER invited people up to our old place. But this apartment... oh, I love it! I love the space, the high ceilings, the light, the kitchen we can sit in, the amount of storage, the huge hallway. We are so, so, so lucky. 

This weekend we are getting a new kitchen table and some furniture for the balconies. I can't wait to sit outside w a coffee and a book and I know Amaia is going to love reading outside too. As I said... SUPER, SUPER LUCKY! 

Right the Monaco return needs to get started - 6km so I am home in time for lunch. Happy weekends all! 

In the park - finally!

Sometimes I don't even understand myself. I am constantly trying to "improve" myself.  Be healthier, be kinder, be fitter, be more understanding, be less judgemental, make time for myself, relax more, be tidier, be efficient, be positve, be more patient, be calmer, control my temper, eat less, read more, write, pray, become a saint... the list is bloody endless!!! 

Today is a beautiful sunny day and I decided to go for a run "just to get out of the house" because I know I will otherwise lose the next 10 hours cleaning, tidying and procrastinating. And so I ran. I ran to the Parc of Cap Martin. A beautiful park full of olive trees and art. I nornally run a loop around the park and run back to MC. I never even venture inside the park! Not today. Today I stopped. I took a leisurely walk through the park, admired it century old olive trees  and finally stopped for a coffee. In the shade of a tree. And breathed. And wrote. I have been running around this park since I started my first marathon training in 2014. This is the first time I have been inside it. 

I'm not going to be sad about it. I'm going to be happy that I realised this today and I am going to make an effort to run as usual but also to stop. To take in moments like this. Of quiet and calm and nature. To stop beating myself up with all the things I could do better on and learn to accept myself and maybe even one day even tell myself how utterly brilliant I am!

So, it is March

You know me. It takes me a long time to get around to doing something. It takes me about six months to go from idea to execution and probably two weeks to give up on it. This year was going to be different. Right? Right....

Well, to a certain extent it has. I am now the proud owner of a 63 day PEAK (brain training app) streak and my score has increased by 13 points in that time. Woo hoo! But my diary writing and praying has been a bit more haphazard as for my piano practise. No comment. 

But now I am approaching with a new strategy. My aim now is just to get those three things done daily. A line in my diary - literally a comment. One run through of my piano piece. That will take all of 3 minutes. And a few minutes of quiet time for prayer and contemplation. My thinking is, if I can get into a small habit I can build on it over time rather than just trying to create a big habit.  So,  it is March and I am still trying to get my New Year's Resolution into place... Let's check back in by May. 

Routines for 2023

 So, what is life like in 2023 for me?

Whilst this half term seems too short to mention a proper routine I would say my mornings are busy enough with running twice a week, soup kitchen on Thursday and La Turbie walk on Wednesday. On Tuesday afternoons I have piano and twice a week I take Leia to kick boxing in the evenings resulting in a late(ish) dinner. On Wednesdays the girls still do LAMDA and we have an early dinner before Husband comes home. Friday nights we head to the house although these days we are just as happy staying in Monaco and enjoying the apartment. Into that mix I usually manage to have a good Skype call with my lovely friend Nancy who has left Monaco for the US and an occasional coffee or lunch with another good friend who has returned to Monaco! So yes, life is busy enough! 

On top of that I have both girls in Secondary school and this is now a short walk away. We rarely take them or pick them up from school now so that has freed up some time. But in contrast the girls now have very varied timetables. Each day they finish at totally different times. It can be 15h45, 17h00 or a crazy 18h00!! On top of that classes can be cancelled and the child has the option to leave the school. Why? I just cannot see the benefits of such long days or a lack of routine. I can’t imagine an 11 or 12 year old knowing how to use those free hours of a cancelled class productively. I can not believe any child can work well with a 10 hour day at school. I am learning to accept the French system but still not grasping its benefits. And don’t get me started on half day Wednesday…. 

2023

 Happy 2023 Folks! 

I was lying in bed unable to sleep thinking about writing something and I thought… why don’t I just get up and do it? So here I am! Yes, it has been a while… but something tells me 2023 is going to be different. I am. It hasn’t been about big changes but tiny little, barely noticeable steps here and there. I’m hoping tiny leads to little that eventually will just lead to a good habit! We are in February now and the changes are still there so a little pat on the back to me.

Before we go into 2023 me let’s just tie up 2022. 

So, big news is we moved. I love our new place. Huge rooms, high ceilings, a kitchen you can eat in!! (This is rarer than a roof top pool in Monaco!) We have two bathrooms (you can read Amaia’s post on that!) and a guest room, small but big enough for a double bed. I am delighted. Location isn’t far from our old place. The girls have less than a 10 minute walk to school and we have three balconies that I am looking forward to using in warmer weather. So on that front all is fantastic. Yay!

Secondly, I trained and ran the Valencia marathon for the third time in December in 4h34 minutes. I’m happy with that time considering I started in the +5 hours pen. That is a lot of overtaking! 

Thirdly, COVID is still lingering but I would say life has returned to as close to pre COVID as we have gotten. Eternally grateful we all survived that without too much drama or impact on our health. My sister and her family finally left Shanghai, spent the Summer with us in Valencia and has now moved to a civilised Singapore. 

As alarm clock time approaches I need to finish up here. Have a wonderful day, remember to smile!

Mwah! 

April - Belated birthday write up

 Well, it has been a while since I wrote and I have no idea why it has taken so long. I guess with COVID restrictions easing up I have been busier than usual… 

So, April. My birthday month! I’d say finally at 47 I finally accepted a one day birthday celebration, OK, make that two days, maybe with a weekend dinner thrown in too! On the day itself we had the usual pastry breakfast, I did my Wednesday hike and stuck to the usual Wednesday routine but after LAMDA we went to the Hermitage for their delicious afternoon tea. I was able to enjoy a sugar feast in the middle of Lent. Yay! The following day I had lunch at The Grill with a couple of friends. I went for a blow dry beforhand and wore my super sophisticated white trousers. I even wore heels!! The Grill didn't disappoint. It was as wonderful as always. My only complaint is their soufflés have shrunk as we managed to polish all three off without a problem! The weekend saw a birthday come to an end with dinner at Clovis. 

Finally, at 47 I'm happy with low key birthdays!!

May

The good news is we are travelling and mostly without restrictions. What a wonderful feeling!

The bad news is travelling often means delays, problems with pick up and drop offs, lost luggage and a lot of waiting around.  Yes, travelling itself is rather inpleasant. 

The girls and I flew to London. It was a disaster. Our taxi driver forgot the booking and didn't show up. Our flight was two hours delayed. Our taxi pick up in Heathrow was late. We got to London utterly drained!! Of course all this was forgotten when I saw our beautiful Cheval apartment and shared a glass of wine with my parents who had arrived earlier.  Being back in London after two and a half years was great. We visited our old local restaurant, enjoyed the delights of Shezan across the road, got an extravagant takeaway from Harrods, relished popping into Waitrose for a quick shop, spent way too much time in Harrods. I got my brows done at last! 

It was good to be back in my town. Feeling comfortable and confident. Able to make small talk with with the friendly newsagent, with the attentive waiter,  with shop assistants it makes such a difference to your day when you understand everything and don't have to think about sentance structures! 

Most importantly it was a memorable moment when we woke up on the Saturday and were able to wish my dad a Happy Birthday in person. At last! 

More March

 March ended badly. We had to isolate as Leia had Covid. She was absolutely fine. We only did a home test because we had a spare one lying around. We were not expecting a positive result. The next day we all went to the testing centre and only Leia was positive. It was strange. It was frustrating. It was bloody annoying! And so we all had to stay at home. Yes, husband and I were free to leave the flat because we were vaccinated but our girls weren’t. So we had 48 hours in the apartment and that was just about enough. In the end we headed to the house and almost immediately our moods lifted. The house was a real tonic. Nature and space and clean air. We tested negative yesterday so both girls are finally back at school and freedom comes conveniently before my birthday tomorrow! 

On the other hand March introduced us to the restful weekend. We did so little. Some days we stayed in pyjamas other days we had siestas. We have never done so little or planned so little. Yet after 48 hours of laziness we all felt remarkably rested and recharged. It did make me think what is resting? And what is lazy? Maybe we have them confused?

I got to see some flats too! One beautiful apartment! Wooden floors, bay windows, original features, tonnes of space. Two or three bedrooms. Perfect, you say. Perfect, I thought. ONE TOILET! Just one. Not one in the bathroom and a guest loo. Just one. It felt like a compromise too much. There were two apartments in the same building. One had a garden. One had a huge kitchen! It could easily seat six people. Do you know what a luxury that is? So while I dreamed of living in this stunning apartment it also made me realise that if something comes along we are still 5-7 months from moving so I need to hold my horses. I need to see what is available nearer the time… Patience was never my strong point.

And finally the birthday celebrations… what are the plans? Well, I may be doing drinks tonight on line with two school friends - our three birthdays fall in the space of four days! Tomorrow after a pastry breakfast we will continue as normal until we can dress up and go to the Hermitage for afternoon tea. It is what appealed the most during my Lenten sugar abstinence! And Thursday I am off to the Grill for a girls’ lunch, More dressing up and more culinary delights. The birthday celebrations end on Saturday with dinner at Clovis for the four of us, I must end on that note as it is 06h44 and time to rise and SHINE! 

March

So far March has been quiet and cold. If I’m honest it has been a bit dull too… but we need to appreciate the quiet, dull and boring because the next couple of months are busy. We have dared to make plans!! 

I am very excited but not yet going to tempt fate by revealing anything! 

March saw Husband and I get our boosters. The irony is as of yesterday vaccine and health passes are no longer required! I am very relieved as I was starting to feel like the paperwork was becoming a jumping through hoops exercise and not really about the virus at all. And masks are on their way out too. The girls are finally mask free for most of their school day! Yay!! 

March has also seen the loss of our lifts and regular climbs up five floors. With shopping. With school bags. With luggage. Hmmm. What can I say? I am going to get very fit?!! There is noise and mess and sooooo much dust but we will manage.

I’m still keeping my eyes peeled for a flat even though we can’t move till after the summer at the earliest. There is nothing like flat hunting in Monaco to remind you how the other half live! Yes, those paying over €100,000 a month for an apartment… We are looking in the lowest budget bracket and it is so painful. Tiny bedrooms, offensive kitchens, time warped bathrooms… And when I am shown a new apartment there is a compromise. Only one bathroom. Minuscule bedrooms. Small living spaces comprising of kitchen, dining and living room! For how much?? I know on the grand scale of things it isn’t a big deal but I do wonder what we will end up with…

The girls continue to be on amazing form doing well at school and being so much more focused than I ever was!! Kick boxing is back! Amaia is preparing for her 1st piano exam. LAMDA continues. It is all good. In fact when it comes to the girls it is excellent. 

I am running again but taking it slow and going easy on myself. If it is 10k that is good but if all I can manage is 5k that is fine too. The aim is to keep moving… It has also been hard without my sugar treats… it is such a psychological fix too. What can my pick me up be now? Taking a bath or reading a magazine are just not as practical as eating a cake with your coffee!! And so I have been “treat less” for nearly two week. It definitely impacts on your mood! So I apologise to all my loved ones!

Right, Amaia will be home soon. I need to get organised… Laters! 

February - the beginning of the end??

 So it is the last day in February and it has been a good month. Slowly things are changing… 

For us the month marked Amaia’s 12th birthday. Can you believe it? We celebrated it over several days with several meals and cakes! She got her Lego and a library worth of books and overall I think she was very happy. The day after her birthday we drove to St Anton for our first holiday in a hotel since we were last in St Anton in February 2020! The drive was uneventful, the sun mostly shone and we didn’t see snow until the end of the drive. There were definitely less cars. No traffic jams! Yay! We arrived to our home from home in the mountains… same rooms, same drill, same staff. It was sooooooo good to be back. Friends from London joined us there and it was a great reunion, similar to pre Covid times except with a face mask or two. But who cares about face masks when we are finally OUT! Out with hundreds of other strangers on the slopes, out having coffees and hot chocolates, out for divine lunches and delicious dinners. We were finally FREE!! And it felt so good. Psychologically it was the medicine we all needed. A taste of freedom with Covid still lingering but hopefully loosening its grasp on our lives. 

We got back and the holiday continued with a sunny weekend in Monaco, lunch at Avenue 31 and a total contrast to our snowy St Anton landscape. 

The return to routine is always tough but last week it was particularly brutal as Husband took off for his first business trip in two years. Normally I wouldn’t bat an eyelid but I am out of practice and after a holiday it seemed even harder! As you can see this week, it is Monday and I am already so on top of it all I’m actually writing this post!!

I don’t know if it was the optimistic holiday mode or the easing of restrictions but already I have holiday plans for the next few months. Easter in Spain, London in May and Paris possibly for the Grand Prix. It is exciting to plan again and hopefully all remaining restrictions and paperwork will slowly ease off by the time we travel. I hope so anyway! 

Sweet Spot

I noticed it before the holiday and the last few days have only confirmed it. I don’t know if it is because these days are numbered but I am definitely aware and very much appreciating that we have reached a sweet spot in the daily demands of parenting. The girls are so good, they get on with their homework without us nagging, they do well at school, they still love being around us, they like nothing more than cuddling up on the sofa and watching TV in the evening, they are great company during meals, they are curious and interested in the world around us, they have grown so much and yet they still love playing with Lego (for hours!). In this carefree pre teen world where moods are not yet influenced by hormones or screen time or “likes” it really is a pleasure hanging out with them, and even though we haven’t done anything special I am very aware of how precious these last weeks have been and am filled with gratitude.

January 2022

 We are one twelfth of the year down! 

The month kicked off with a very early morning flight from Bristol with the nightmare amount of paperwork required. At Nice airport we were met with shockingly long queues as they checked all the appropriate forms again. Still, we made it safely back to Monaco and freshened up for a lovely New Year’s Day lunch at the Beef Bar. That first glass of champagne was heavenly! 

The first week was strange. Husband was a contact case within hours of arriving at the office and spent the rest of the week working from home. Covid is still raging but this new variant Omicron is milder and mostly like having a cold. The girls also had a lot of cases at school so they were constantly being tested too but thankfully they haven’t been off school.

One major thing I didn’t mention last year was that I started flat hunting and found a lovely apartment. Unfortunately the second bedroom was way too small but we decided to bite the bullet and ask to end our lease a year early. The apartment is just getting too small as the girls get bigger. We got a reply the second week of January. No we couldn’t leave our apartment until December 2022. The following week a sign went up in the lobby announcing seven months of demolition and building works throughout the building plus - wait for it - the removal of the lift for FOUR months!!!! We live on the fifth floor!! To say I was livid is a huge understatement but mostly my anger was for the elderly on the top floor and our floor who will not be as free to come and go with no lift in the building. FOUR MONTHS!! Seriously?!?

Friday is half term and we have taken a deep breath and said we are going skiing. We will be careful but we also want to live our lives. The last pre Covid holiday we took was in St Anton and it feels right that we are hopefully marking the beginning of the end of this pandemic with a visit back. I will keep you posted!!

So far - 2022

 Clearly I am only writing because I am feeling rather smug. It is only Wednesday 5th January and already this Monaco Mrs of 2022 is surprising me!

I don’t aim for New Year’s resolutions but I did think there were some bad habits I could break. I have dropped my morning online browsing of Westwing and Veepee that offer “deals” everyday. I use to browse in the morning while on the phone to my mum. Not any more. Now I have started walking while I talk. The two days I have done it they have been 3km walks! After the call I’ve done 6km runs followed by a short walk home. It has proven a good way to get my 10,000 steps by 09h30am!!

I have also dropped my evening on line browsing and general online shopping addiction. Wow! How much time did I waste just aimlessly browsing? In brief: A LOT. And what do you do with all that free time? I guess you just remain a bit more present and a bit more aware. 

There are other things I’d like to add to my day and I will slowly resume brain training, piano, some form of exercise other than running and start taking all the vitamin pills and powders I buy and then leave in cupboards as if their mere presence is enough to work their magic! I expect I will waste less and read more. I want to do a 0 to 5km training programme with the girls too. Despite my good start to the year this week has been a little strange. Husband has been at home working these last two days as like many people around the world he is unfortunate enough to be a “contact case”. It is hard staying in routine when he is around and whilst Monday was amazingly productive Tuesday and Wednesday have been much less so. Plus this afternoon, like every Wednesday the girls have been home. Not much I can do there 

So yes, despite everything 2022 is off to a good start!

And finally…

 It is the last day of the year. Goodbye 2021. It is also our last day in Bristol. I’ve had three afternoons at home while the rest of the family go for walks. As lovely as it sounds I’m not one for doing something just because… I jumped at the chance to enjoy a guilt free, quiet afternoon. Yes, that does explain these last three posts…

So what have I been doing? I’ve read my book (Edge of Eternity by Ken Follett) and also started reading a non fiction one “The Book you Wished your Parents had Read” which helps us to understand our reactions to situations and hopefully help all relationships in your life. It is an interesting read. I’ve also read a few samples of books I may read in the future. In short it has been very good reading time. I also admit it has been very good shopping time! Yesterday I treated myself to a leather skirt and fuchsia trousers from Sézane (a to Me from Me Xmas gift), today I bought some goodies from Smythson, in my head they can be Xmas gifts from the girls. I’ve sat quietly with a mug of coffee and mince pie and been entranced by all the activity of the squirrels outside in the garden. It has been like having my own personal nature show. What fascinating little creatures!

I’ve have also run 5km five out of the six days I’ve been here. It hasn’t been tough at all. Hopefully next week in the chaos of settling in I can continue with 5km runs and then start my training. I’d like to work up to a half marathon distance and run 21km once a week until I start marathon training later in the year. 

What more can I add? Happy New Year and here is to good health, happiness and 2022 being a year for long overdue hugging!!

Laters 2021. Welcoming 2022…

Well here I am again. Two posts in two days. Amazing what you do when you quite simply can’t do anything else!

I don’t want to linger on this year anymore and have set my gaze firmly on 2022! I know it is going to be a rocky ride, but surely it can only get better? I admit there may be more cases but definitely less deaths. The vaccine may not fully protect but hopefully it is turning Covid into a cold rather than a deadly virus. 

The hardest part of this all is the loss of freedom, the loss of spontaneity and the constant awareness of this killer lurking in the shadows as we step outside the safety of our homes. Masks have to be worn in shops and public areas, sanitising equipment is available before you pick up your shopping basket or trolley, you avoid touching buttons on lifts or at crossings, someone sneezing or coughing fills you with terror, busy restaurants are a turn off, hitting the annual Christmas sales is inconceivable and yet isn’t two years of separation and isolation more painful for some people than having Covid itself? It is so hard to distinguish between being careful and being over cautious.  Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to linger on 2021? Sorry! 

So…. 2022. This is all I ask, not for Covid to disappear but for its hold to weaken. For it to be manageable and non threatening to countries, health systems and economies. Wouldn’t it be heavenly if the term “social distancing” became redundant? For public gatherings to resume and be celebrated - theatres, concerts, festivals… whatever takes your fancy! For people to dance and party recklessly - as we all have at some point in our wild youth! I long for a mask free world, where we can breathe freely and see and read each others’ faces again. For children to play with abandonment once again and schools to be mask free. To see my sister and her family again and jump on a plane without endless tests and paperwork. Who knows… it may happen. I am praying it will. 

2022, over to you! 

COVID’s Christmas Special!

I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet the last two weeks. It has been a very, I repeat, very strange time. Just when we thought things were getting better Covid wise, they got A LOT worse. A new variant appeared that was very infectious and cases went through the roof again. Furthermore governments started to get tough. Really tough. More lock downs. Enforced vaccinations. Let’s just say democracy was at a low point. While I am fully vaccinated and happy to be jabbed I do think everyone is entitled to make their own decision. Being forced to do something by a government feels very wrong. There have been protests, unrest and a lot of uproar. And still the cases continue to rise… What more can we do? All this happened weeks before Christmas and suddenly everyone’s holiday plans were up in the air. The uncertainty of it all was probably more destructive than a definite cancellation. All those plans made in the (ironically) not so carefree days of October and November floated in Limbo until they were sadly cancelled under new regulations  and travel restrictions. Christmas cheer became Christmas fear. And yes, we are grateful to be healthy, warm, fed and fine but another year? Another Christmas? Really? I think we all feel slightly short changed, slightly cheated and very fed up.

Having said that I was lucky enough to be able to drive to Valencia (thank you Husband) and be reunited with my family for a few days. It was lovely but it was short and once again in the shadow of Covid precautions and regulations. Worse still was the much needed trip to Bristol which required a shocking amount of paperwork and printouts. Any joy of air travel being replaced by anxiety and fear of interrogation!  And now we are in Bristol… no restaurants, no shopping, no Christmas panto or cinema visit, no excursions or activities with the need to stay safe so we can get on a plane back! 

What can I say? 2021 was better than 2020 but not the year we were expecting. I truly hope and pray 2022 can at least be the beginning of the end of this Covid pandemic. 

Ticking along

 I left you having taken up the challenge of a piano recital. Let me keep it brief. It did not go well. It did not go well at all. I realise now having a medley of tunes and no concrete copy of what you are playing isn’t ideal. I lost my place and never recovered and as I struggled on I came to the realisation that no parent was that bothered by my playing, they had come to see their children not me. So I cut it short and took myself out of my misery and the bored parents out of theirs! In complete contrast the girls played their pieces without any problems and Leia didn’t even take her music up when she played! 

Last week felt busy but now I can’t remember much about it at all! I did the final bits of Christmas shopping, I ordered lots of Advent calendars and wrote letters for my Post Pals friends, I did the family calendar and a photo book of the year, I didn’t run, I had lunch with a friend but otherwise laid low. 

Husband’s travel plans got cancelled thanks to the new Covid variant. I dread to think what restrictions they will come up with in time for Christmas!

I’ve just finished a piano lesson where I played my medley beautifully - of course! Now we are having fun with a few Christmas carols until we break up for the holidays. 

Out of my comfort zone, way, way out!

 We are into week three now and the Christmas holidays are less than four weeks away. Since I got back I have tried to make myself do one thing a week that requires going out of my comfort zone. This has mainly had to do with being friendly and sociable and making an effort with friends. I know I have to break this hermit habit and really challenge my way of doing things because whilst it is comfortable it isn’t necessarily the best thing for me. Last week I arranged lunch with a friend, today I am having breakfast with a friend in a place I tend to avoid because it is a bit pretentious  or is it that I am slightly daunted by the place? Well, either way I am going there today!  But the biggest challenge of all and the one I was avoiding like the plague was playing the piano in public. I refused to commit to the annual recital, I found plenty of excuses why I should not do it , I found 101 reasons to back up those excuses but in the end my piano teacher would not take no for an answer and here I am, so out of my comfort zone I may as well be on another planet! And yet I am feeling slightly more alive and energised by this mixture of dread, fear and excitement as I head into this unknown realm. The recital is on Saturday. Challenge accepted!