Sunshine, darkness and starry skies...

This half term we exchanged London for Tourrettes. We stayed home, we read, we cooked, we watched films and ate pop corn, we played badminton, we searched for ice cream and found none, we sat in the sun, we talked Christmas presents, we did homework in a relaxed manner, we wrote to friends, we chatted over the phone, we lay in, we drank hot chocolate (with marshmallows and whipped cream), we had a sleep over in another bedroom. I tried to do something different and treat like every day for the girls. I can honestly say we rested and recharged ourselves. BUT, but, but... despite all the good stuff, despite the glorious weather, despite the cosy nights, despite being in our wonderful haven of a home my mood was down. I felt like a cloud loomed over me every day. The constant uncertainty is wearing thin and I am getting tired of Covid.

I am tired of the restrictions. I am tired of hearing about other people’s travels. I am tired of how people think these safety measure don’t apply to them. It does amaze me how selfish some people can be... and then it frustrates me and then it just angers me. 

So now France is about to begin a new lock down that will last until December. I will deal with it. I don’t think I will be able to escape to the house at the weekend. The four of us will be in our small flat. We will deal with it. I am not out trying to find ways around the new regulations. I don’t for a minute think this doesn’t apply to me. I am just hoping this lockdown works and Christmas away can become a viable option. 

And yet this week I’ve also experienced what so many people live through on a daily basis. The loneliness. The lack of company. I can totally get how lockdown isolation can mess your head up. And what about all those single parents out there? I’ve only done four days without husband and they have totally dragged. Of course I have done four days alone with the girls before but not in these conditions, not without distractions, outings, things to look forward to. It has been harder than I thought. A holiday at home under the COVID black cloud. 

I know this will all pass. As soon as husband comes through the door tonight I will feel happier, relaxed and reassured. Even writing it down has made a difference...

Right, so that covers the good and the bad now for the surprising. It will make you smile or maybe even laugh out loud! Tomorrow night we are camping! Yes, husband has bought all the kit and the four of us will have a night under the stars (in our garden so I can always escape to the safety of my bed if it gets too cold or uncomfortable!). We did a test run on the tent last weekend. My last time inside a tent was Glastonbury 1995!! Over the years I have ruled out camping but now, just for something different I am more than ready and even excited!!  That last statement... really?! Just goes to show COVID really can mess with your head!