Motherhood...

The problem with motherhood is that it is relentless. You are never off duty unless you happen to be miles away from your child. I'm lucky I have Amelie and I usually get eight hours a week without Amaia and that time out is seriously appreciated, even if it means I can just go to the supermarket, iron or cook alone. Sometimes I just enjoy walking without a pushchair!!!

Today I was at the beach, usual spot of La Note Bleue where I enjoyed a late breakfast before I took Amaia to the play area she has no intention of staying in! A little later a mother turned up with her son and nanny. She took two loungers by the play area and ordered a fruit platter and an Evian. She played on her iPad, spoke on her phone and smoked whilst her nanny played with her son. Part of me was envious because I would have loved to be lying on a lounger, relaxing in the sunshine instead of running after Amaia constantly but if I am completely honest I'm not sure I could handle someone looking after Amaia in my presence especially if I am not doing anything more than lying on a lounger!! And for all my joking about a full time nanny I wouldn't want anyone else to be responsible for raising my daughter if I was around and available to do it myself. I certainly wouldn't be hanging around to watch the nanny do it!

I started writing this when I came back from the beach, Amaia was napping and I was eating lunch and relaxing. Several hours later i have a thumping headache, tension in my neck and shoulders and a whingey baby who is tired but will still put up a fight at bed time. I'm thinking, yes, I could have a full time nanny to deal with Little Miss Tantrum right now and I'd go and hide in the Metropole spa until the coast was clear and quiet! (Then Amaia turns to me smiling, all excited and showing off her wonderful clapping technique and I think I'd miss these little moments....and then she breaks the decorative ribbon on my shoe and the nanny is back!).